69 cities in the united kingdom and forty seven thousand pubs

england is smaller than my state and has like almost as many bars as the entire US combined. like it’s just 10,000 short of catching up to the US, a country with almost 5 times its population

going to one pub every single day it would take you 130 years to go to every pub in britain

I’ve plugged our route into Google, who’s with me

The more I learn about Britain’s alcohol culture the more scared I become.

it is with a heavy heart that i must tell you this is exactly what it’s like


Some day I want to see a show that does the “no filler episodes” thing from the opposite direction. Just a whole season worth of low-stakes character pieces that seem to move the overall story absolutely nowhere, then episode 26 pulls all the triggers at once and this massive Rube Goldberg machine of a plot the show’s been quietly setting up in the background the whole time hits you like a truck.







can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

no come back ma’am

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

underwater wife

Underwater love of my underwater life

Underwater girlfriend, underwater wife
underwater love of my underwater life
she creeps in the deep with an underwater knife
she’s a smooth-skinned terror causing underwater strife

She’s had underwater strife in her underwater life
So I serenade her with my Mariana fife
She drags me down to live an underwater life
Underwater girlfriend, underwater wife



me, looking up the voice actors for the Star Trek animated series: Oh, how nice, they were able to get the main cast to come back. 

me, scrolling down to see the other actors: 

I am fucking crying, I am laughing so fucking hard. 


By reputation. He’s an Oxford educated Psychologist, who wrote a monograph on serial killers and the occult, that helped to catch Monty Props in 1988. Generally thought of as the best analyst in the violent crimes section.