cannot stress enough the importance of having a bucket in your house. a big plastic bucket. helps with housework. helps with morale. get yourself a bucket today
thinking abt when pacrim said there are people out there who will have the capacity to know you completely and love you in a way where you genuinely complete each other, VERY much a metaphor for platos concept of two souls splitting from one and then said this is important because you can pilot a huge robot and beat up giant aliens together
do you think hannibal would murder me if he watched me delicately place chips inside a sandwich and then smash it slowly before eating it
he’d either kill me or ask me why i prefer my sandwiches with chips and i’d shrug and say “i like the crunch”. which would prompt him to say something along the lines of “we often crave a taste more primitive, the crunching between our teeth used to be birthed from the snapping of bones from a fresh kill. is that what you are savoring for? tell me helena, do you hunger for brutality?”
A LOVE LETTER TO THE MEDIA THAT HAS SHAPED ME:
6/18 ➳ OCEAN’S 8 (2018) I want you to remember
one thing, you are not doing this for me. You are not doing this
for you. Somewhere out there is an eight-year-old girl lying in bed, dreaming of being a criminal. Let’s do this for her.
“Skyrim runs on everything” meme is just a shitty knockoff of “Doom runs on everything”. But less funny because people DO genuinely actually get Doom running on toasters and ATMs in real life.
All those pictures are 100% real and unedited.
Here are some more of my favorites:
And of course, playing Doom inside of Doom
“Skyrim is being ported to X” is funny because the implication that Bethesda is trying to squeeze blood from a stone by somehow convincing you you should buy it a 20th time on a ridiculous device
“Hey I got X to run Doom!” is funny because it’s just how computer science majors be and they actually fucking did it, y’all.
historians refer to the time period between the publication of the last sherlock holmes stories in 1927 and the premiere of star trek in 1966 as the great blorbo famine
many people have reblogged to say that I neglected their personal favorite guy. a lot of you have bad taste but I apologize sincerely to jeeves and wooster from jeeves and wooster
love how this whole “new people coming to tumblr now” situation has exactly the vibe of strange showing up in the saloon of an old western town and stepping on the creaking floorboard
”Listen up, Stranger. Since you already stumbled in here, there is a few things you should know. First of all, this is a lawless land. There is no algorithm, and there are no ways to control which posts get traction. They do, or they don’t. Second, we do not do well with influencers here. You can try, but you won’t last long. They never do. Third, no one trusts a stranger who hides behind a default icon and only watches from afar. We have dealt with those before, and it did cost us. If you want to gain trust, talk to and support your fellas, and they will eventually return the favour. Finally, we like real fights in here. This is not a place of where you get unalived. This is a place where you die.”
