Gosh, that part in Much Ado About Nothing when Beatrice and Benedick read each other’s secret love letters and admit their in love is always so cute. But, like, too cute.
… That’s more like it. That’s the response I’d expect of two hyper-critical sarcastic dorks in love.
the guardian imagines what historical figures might look like today. my personal favourite is shakespeare, reincarnated as a shoreditch hipster.
but can you imagine how’d he’d sound a loft party?
“I’m going to subvert the whole, like, narrative ideal by telling you upfront that these two, like, teenagers are going to fall in love and die, and then do it. So there’s no more hiding in the words. Stark, yeah? And then, I think I’ll hide a sonnet in their big scene together, right? It’ll be subversive, because only, you know, people who are up on sonnets will get it…..what? No, she’s thirteen—a little edgy but that’s art, man. Art.”
i am loving hipster shakespeare A++
This explains so much. Hipster Shakespeare drank too many experimental microbrews one night:
"Will, we need this bit done, buddy. We’ve got rehearsal in ten minutes.”
“I dunno. Uh. Exit.”
“Just… "Exit”?“
"Exit, pursued by a bear.”
“Will, come on.”
“I think I left my LUNGS in that bucket, Robbie, okay? Exit, pursued by a bear. It’s surrealism. Man versus wild. Whatever. Get me a Gatorade and a ton of Advil, and maybe I can work out what I’m going to do with the statue.”
Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family’s enemy or be close with my family’s enemy as it is their party I am crashing
Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there’s a cute guy more my age over there. And since he’s here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
—
Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
Juliet: That was dumb of you
—
Romeo: We should get married right now
Juliet: We don’t know each other. Shouldn’t we wait until at least a little time has passed?
Romeo: Like tomorrow?
Juliet: Sure, fine.
—
Juliet: We’re married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
Romeo: Right.
Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
—
Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I’m gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He’ll come and get me and we can go away together.
Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
Juliet: For fucks sake.
I know a bank where the wild thyme blows, Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows, Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine, With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine: There sleeps Titania sometime of the night, Lull’d in these flowers with dances and delight; And there the snake throws her enamell’d skin, Weed wide enough to wrap a fairy in: And with the juice of this I’ll streak her eyes, And make her full of hateful fantasies. Take thou some of it, and seek through this grove: A sweet Athenian lady is in love With a disdainful youth: anoint his eyes; But do it when the next thing he espies May be the lady: thou shalt know the man By the Athenian garments he hath on. Effect it with some care, that he may prove More fond on her than she upon her love: And look thou meet me ere the first cock crow.
