Mina, writing to Lucy: I cannot wait to hear how Jonathan is doing on his travels! He must be having such a lovely time <3
Jonathan, in his diary: OH GOD OH FUCK HE CAN CLIMB WALLS LIKE A LIZARD NOW. I HAVE ONLY A CRUCIFIX FOR PROTECTION AND I AM GOING TO DIE TO A LIZARD MAN. THERE IS NO WAY OF ESCAPE SO I MAY AS WELL WRITE MY GOODBYES. FAREWELL MINA!!!
“Welcome to my house! Enter freely and of your own will!” He made no motion of stepping to meet me, but stood like a statue, as though his gesture of welcome had fixed him into stone. The instant, however, that I had stepped over the threshold, he moved impulsively forward, and holding out his hand grasped mine with a strength which made me wince, an effect which was not lessened by the fact that it seemed as cold as ice“
Jack Seward describing Jonathan’s hands now:
"We men are all in a fever of excitement, except Harker, who is calm; his hands are cold as ice.”
“It will be a bad lookout for the Count if the edge of that “Kukri” ever touches his throat, driven by that stern,ice-cold hand!”
Both of their hands are described as strong/stern, and cold as ice…
Dracula, starting out as a white-haired, bloodthirsty, strong, cold-handed horror whose actions have his victim, Jonathan Harker, desperately trying to get back home: Ha ha, love this for me! Now to narratively steal your identity as a dark-haired young Englishman and go about enjoying myself with no expectation of violent interruption
Jonathan: Oh, so you’re not using the old identity anymore? I can just have this? 🙂
Dracula: what
Jonathan,white-haired, bloodthirsty, strong, cold-handed horror whose actions have his victim, Count Dracula, desperately trying to get back home: Thanks 🙂 🔪
My favorite part of reading Dracula with tumblr was people loathing Dracula. I was prepared for everyone to be all swoony and reverent and “oh, he’s so awful, drain me, Daddy”
instead?
Pure vitriolic hatred. Loathing. The swooning was, as it should have been, firmly placed on Jonathan. Mina’s husband. Mina’s soulmate.
If you had told me that the prevailing sentiment on my dash at the end of the year would be “Fuck Dracula, all my homies hate Dracula” back in May, I would not have believed you.
Dracula voice: I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for my lawyer, his wife, his wife’s girlfriend, his wife’s girlfriend’s fiancé and their extra boyfriends the Cowboy and the doctor and the doctor’s thesis advisor who knows how to kill vampires for some reason!
My friend Jonathan Harker met a man who could control wolves with his mind and thought “I can’t tell if this is normal or not for foreign real estate dealings.”
Jonathan Harker, a man who only yesterday was physically and mentally obliterated by paprika, is largely unphased by the locals being very clearly disapproving of his decision to visit his cool new friend, DRACULA.
I know that it wasn’t as funny when it was written because it’s only funny because it’s such a well known book but I can’t help but lose it a bit at the phrase “your friend, DRACULA”
