Dracula voice: I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for my lawyer, his wife, his wife’s girlfriend, his wife’s girlfriend’s fiancé and their extra boyfriends the Cowboy and the doctor and the doctor’s thesis advisor who knows how to kill vampires for some reason!
Tag: dracula daily
I’m loving Lucy getting blood transfusions from each of her three suitors from a narrative construction perspective but I’m obsessed with Quincey going ‘wow the last time I saw blood loss this bad was when my horse got eaten by a vampire’ and absolutely no one follows up on that.
Participating in Dracula Daily has reminded me of how throughout the initial portions of the novel the Count repeatedly makes back-handed references to the fact that he’s a vampire, seemingly for absolutely no reason other than to fuck with Jonathan, and it’s strengthened my conviction that you can’t have a faithful modern adaptation of Stoker’s Dracula unless Dracula is just constantly spouting shitty vampire puns – which everyone around him unaccountably fails to pick up on – like a gaunt, bemoustached Hannibal Lecter.
“oh, and just one more thing. those folks down in the village sir, they’re real kind people, and they make terrific food too! the stuff i tried – paprika hundle, no, that’s not right, it was hendl, that’s it! boy, that stuff was delicious! i even got the recipe to send home to my wife. what ya gotta know about mrs. columbo, is she’s a much more adventurous eater than i usually am. she’ll just love that stuff, i’m sure. but i noticed somethin’ funny when i was in town, too. the nice lady who made my food, oh, she was sweet as could be, really, but she seemed so worried once i told her i was comin’ up here. she gave me this crucifix thing, insisted i take it, in fact. isn’t that odd? i’m not much of a religious sorta guy, see, and i thought maybe you might know about – woah! hey! gee whiz, i didn’t know it was gonna upset ya so much….okay, i’ll put it away, no harm, no foul…”
My friend Jonathan Harker met a man who could control wolves with his mind and thought “I can’t tell if this is normal or not for foreign real estate dealings.”
everyone making fun of my good friend jonathan’s priorities as if we didn’t spend the last 2 years following the most inconceivable ordeals with “welp, gotta go to work”
2018: you wake up one morning to discover that one of your mutuals has started posting almost exclusively about kpop
2022: you wake up one morning to discover that most of your dash and apparently nearly every active user on tumblr has started posting about their best friend jonathan harker having the weirdest trip of his life on his way to transylvania to visit count dracula. yeah that one.
okay jokes aside dracula daily is such an ingenious way of promoting and enjoying classic literature. bringing back the experience of reading it like a serial novel but through email?? connecting the narrative experience to the textual form but in a modernised way?? the epistolary novel at its peak!!! that shit is so cool!!!! and seeing people reading it for the first time and getting their live reactions?? fucking blessed!! maybe it’s the nerd in me but i think it’s genuinely awesome
Jonathan Harker, a man who only yesterday was physically and mentally obliterated by paprika, is largely unphased by the locals being very clearly disapproving of his decision to visit his cool new friend, DRACULA.
I know that it wasn’t as funny when it was written because it’s only funny because it’s such a well known book but I can’t help but lose it a bit at the phrase “your friend, DRACULA”