I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.
I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend
this is some horror movie shit
Examining the other evidence, we find:
- Feeds other people his own blood
- An affinity for crucifixes
- Not only able to cross water but can also walk on it
Shows up uninvited in people’s houses
Can’t turn into a bat
ok now i dont wanna be that guy but i feel like crucifixes were like, still pretty harmful to jesus actually
he reclaimed them
Hélène Cixous, from Poetry in painting: writings on contemporary arts and aesthetics
Jesus is the definition of Chaotic Good and you can fight me on thisI mean:
- Jesus gets pissed at people selling things in the temple, so he flips tables, whips them, and chases them out.
- Jesus decides to take a nap in a boat during a deadly storm, despite having the power to stop the storm.
- Jesus gets pissed at a fruit tree, so he curses it. rip tree.
- So he rose from the dead… and then the moment people figured out who he was, he would disappear.
- This guy approached Jesus and Jesus decided that this dude’s name was irrelevant and renamed him Cephas… then left.
- The party was dry, Mary was complaining, so Jesus turned water into wine