“how do you just know this” is a question I get asked a lot, because I tend to be someone who can…

the-haiku-bot:

mortalityplays:

“how do you just know this” is a question I get asked a lot, because I tend to be someone who can contribute unusual facts or insight on whatever topic a casual conversation turns to, and I never know how to answer because “I pay attention” sounds rude and isn’t super actionable. but that is really it, I just take an active interest when I encounter something curious or unusual.

like recently one of my friends linked me a funny paragraph from a very badly written erotic novel. it was so bad that I thought “I wonder if this is real”, so we looked up the book it was from and learned it was a vintage horny housewife type story by someone who wrote a lot of shitty cheap porn back in the 80s, all of which now seems to be completely out of print.

in the course of googling the author, I discovered that one of their works had been cited in a 2004 court case over a prisoner’s right to keep erotic novels in his personal library after the prison confiscated them. a bit more googling turned up the case details in a legal database. the guy had received the books by mail and kept them, among others, in his cell. the prison seized them, citing a policy against prisoners having pornography. his lawyers argued that 1. erotic novels are distinct from pornography because they have artistic and expressive content beyond the depiction of sex acts, and 2. since he received them by mail they are therefore protected under his constitutional right to freely access non-disruptive information from outside the prison. I don’t know if he got his books back, but he won his case.

then we googled the defendant and found out he was in prison for helping a woman to drug and murder his boss (who she lived with), mutilate the body with acid and dump him in a ravine.

anyway my point is, take an interest. that’s how you learn weird stuff.

anyway my point

is, take an interest. that’s

how you learn weird stuff.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

You guys do know you’re supposed to reblog things, right

pillsburysoyboy:

esoteric-merit:

pillsburysoyboy:

ozi-uwu:

griffonatrix:

pillsburysoyboy:

pillsburysoyboy:

You guys do know you’re supposed to reblog things, right

“well i like this post but i’m worried my followers might not” fuck your followers. The entire point of tumblr is to cause irreparable psychic damage to your followers. We are locked in mortal combat on the astral plane. You must win. You Must Win. You Must Destroy Them.

i am going to demolish my followers on the battleground of rock-paper-scissors

You better be rebloging you little shits

Too fucking bad

that’s what sideblogs are for. If you know your followers won’t appreciate horniness, make a blog just for the horniness.

No. Go horny on main. I’d they can’t handle you at your boobies they don’t deserve you at your shitposts.

My favorite quote from any movie critic ever is from Roger Ebert, who once said “The Borg Queen…

bethanyactually:

pillsburysoyboy:

My favorite quote from any movie critic ever is from Roger Ebert, who once said “The Borg Queen looks like no notion of sexy I have ever heard of, but inspires me to keep an open mind”

My favorite Roger Ebert movie-review quote was when he said that Danny DeVito “has a way of making the taller people around him seem unsure of what to do with their legs.”