This works as an answer to the metaphorical problem because the key is for the hedgehogs and prcupines to be a bit flexible about how they position themselves and keep thier spines pointed in such a fashion to minimize poking, just like how in human relationships you have to be a bit flexible and concious of your position relative to others, and to manage your sharp bits to minimize the harm you do to others.
“average Starfleet officer steals the Enterprise 3 times a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average officer steals 0 starships per year. Science Officer Spock, who steals the Enterprise whenever a friend is in danger, is an outlier adn should not have been counted