I can watch no longer in silence. I must complain about you by such means as are within my reach. You’ve ripped out my soul. I am half agony, half hopeless. Tell me not that this is it, that such precious Jane Austen adaptations are gone forever.
I offer you my screenwriting advice with a heart even more desperate than when you almost broke it with the release of the Persuasion trailer one month ago.
Dare not say that this movie is accurate, that this Anne is a stronger protagonist than her book counterpart. I have loved none but her. Pretentious I may have been, annoying and demanding I have been, but always with the film’s best interests at heart.
The book alone has brought me to you. For it alone I sat and watched. Have you not realized this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I would not have waited even ten minutes after turning off the TV to write this, could I have mastered my own feelings, as I think you must have guessed mine.
I can hardly type. I am in every instant recalling something which makes me want to punch a wall. You rewrote Anne as a snarky girlboss, but I can appreciate the nuance of her book counterpart when it would be lost on the Netflix execs. Too horrible, too disgusting adaptation! You do us insult, indeed. You do believe that there is not a single brain cell in your audience. Believe mine to have shriveled up and died while watching this movie, most painfully, in the brain of
-Everyone Watching
I must go, and cleanse my remaining sanity with the 1995 adaptation; but I shall return hither, to laugh at this adaptation with my friends, as soon as I can stomach it. But another sentence of clunky narration, another infuriating wink from this horrible version of Anne to the camera, will be enough to make me cancel my Netflix subscription forever.
Seeing a lot of Goncharov content but only real 70s movie heads will know that Spanish director Pere Portabella was meant to be making a behind-the-scenes documentary of the film which turned into a whole other thing. It’s called GOMORRA CALLS.
Scorsese is in it and so are his parents, for some reason. At first you’re just like oh this is cute, they’re bringing food to the set, taking an interest in what’s going on. But it becomes this quite… Creepy reality-bending thing? His mother keeps cryptically referring to weird telephone calls they’ve been getting at home, and his dad keeps moving things on the set, you can only see what he’s doing if you spend a lot of time watching him at the edge of the frame while someone else is talking. And sometimes they’ll get to the set in the morning and find things left in the wrong place, there’s a weird smear on a camera lenses, one of the actors has lost half the pages from the copy of the script they’ve been learning from.
I think the idea was meant to be that they’re being hounded by the realfe mafia for making the movie. But it almost seems like they’re being haunted by the ghosts of mafia members at times. Like, Scorsese’s hotel room will be freezing cold, and he’s being sent anonymous messages at the front desk in a way that just doesn’t make sense. He says, “I’m not sure if someone is trying to stop this movie… Or if they just want to be part of it. If they want to look at a prop in the wrong place and just say, hey, that was me.”
At the time of its limited run in the US, Scorsese said he didn’t really know what Portabella was making, fueling theories that the film was true documentary and not fictionalised. But it’s listed as fiction on Portabella’s Wikipedia page now, and the prevaing theory is that it must be made up. It’s not been included on any of the Goncharov DVD or Blu-Ray packages but it was supposed to be a Criterion Channel exclusive last year… It never showed up, and there are rumours it’s to do with audio licensing issues. But there’s a VHS rip floating around out there if you know where to look.
what I love about this scene is that it implies that everybody but Natasha and Sam seems to have forgotten Steve Rogers grew up poor in Brooklyn and with a dude who was clearly willing to be his enforcer. This is EXACTLY Steve’s style.
Tiktok SEEMS like it fills the same ecological niche as Tumblr circa 2014, but everything that happens on tiktok is the result of some multitrillion dollar conglomerate setting a Rube Goldberg machine I’m motion that makes people act insane , and this leads to an increase in profits for someone somehow. Tumblr was just good old fashioned mass hysteria.
“When someone on here stole human bones for a magic ritual it was because there was genuinely something wrong with them. If someone on tiktok did it it would be because they were trying to sell you shovels”
