Author: Rachel

ladyyatexel:detigerboy: tinsnip: ladyyatexel: My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on…

ladyyatexel:

detigerboy:

tinsnip:

ladyyatexel:

My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks. 

My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit.

Surgeon: Well, consider this.  She and I just had a knife fight.  And I won.  Because she was asleep during it.  

My brother: Oh.  Yeah, okay, that’s fair.

Your surgeon sounds fucking hysterical.

Imagine if you had won though.

I made this post 6 years ago and it has 195 thousand notes, and this is my favorite response to it

krill-joy:

i think we don’t talk enough about the central unsaid idea of pacific rim- they pilot giant robots called jaegers. the final mission involves using these robots to deliver a massive nuclear explosive device to the breach.

a jaeger bomb. NO ONE ever says jaeger bomb. but that is what it is.

agroveinthesavagegarden:

Dracula voice: I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for my lawyer, his wife, his wife’s girlfriend, his wife’s girlfriend’s fiancé and their extra boyfriends the Cowboy and the doctor and the doctor’s thesis advisor who knows how to kill vampires for some reason!

what-even-is-thiss:

thestuffedalligator:

They’ve been rebuilding the Tower of Babel, but this time they have a team of linguists on site. Every time God smites the builders and invents a dozen new languages, the linguists have a dozen decently sized translations in about a month and work can start up again.

The linguists have been really into it. They say the new phonemes are fascinating. As for God, I assume that at this point he’s just curious to see how far this goes.

Family bonding activity