At first I wanted to kill him. But now I’m glad I’ve spent the time to get to know him. Yeah, of course he looks delicious with his big red cheeks. But we’ve all got an agreement that we’re not going to eat Stu. Right? Right.
You ever fuck up so bad you overthrow a Chinese emperor?
I know what the Han Dynasty is, I swear, but I’m so used to seeing Star Wars content on my dash that until I hit “Qin Dynasty” I literally thought this was a Star Wars novel about the one time Han Solo took a job for the Empire and I was thinking 1) this is definitely something Han Solo would do and 2) I need to find the title of that novel so I can read it.
catholics in film: very strict. no singing or dancing!!! everyday we wear black
all the catholics I know irl: WHERE👏ARE👏THE👏BOOZE👏?????
Listen the first miracle Jesus ever performed was turning water into wine and early Catholics were like “well Jesus if you insist” and they never looked back