Dr DeathBoy’s Horrorscopes: The dance of the hooves brings enlightenment.
Taurus: You will be torn by conflicting motivations this week. On one hand, a dear family member will need your assistance and reach out to you for charity in their time of need. You are uniquely positioned to empathise with their situation and connect to them on an emotional level. On the other hand, though, there is the prospect of eating some delicious ham. You choose the ham.
IF ONLY THERE WAS DELICIOUS HAM. DAMN YOU.