Yesterday I told a guy I was ace/aro and he asked what “aro” meant, so I told him, and he responded, “Oh, I thought it might be like A-E-R-O and I was confused.”
Yes. I am asexual/aerodynamic. At the slightest hint of sex or romance I launch myself into the air and land several miles away.
when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you everyday” that hurt me
Full paragraph hurts even more.
“ (…) I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close… I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”
I AM CAPTAIN AMERICA variant cover by Gerald Parel (2011)
#OH SHIT #CLASSIC AMERICANA DUSTY OVERALLS PICK UP TRUCK STEVE #HELL YEAH HELL FUCKING YEAH (via inkyubus)
@twistedingenue I feel you might appreciate this.
This was sort of my mental image of Steve in let fulfillment fuel the fire.
because yes. wow. very hot. so midwestern.
This just posted from my billion item long queue so obviously I must just PUT IT RIGHT BACK IN AGAIN.
“Thank you for your kindness,
but you cannot know
the depth of my despair.”Persuasion, Jane Austen
“EuRoPeAns DoN’t LiKe TiPPiNg”
WE LOVE TIPPING
BECAUSE IF YOU’RE PARTICULARLY GOOD YOU DESERVE A BONUS
BUT THAT’S ALL IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE
A BONUS
BECAUSE YOUR ACTUAL EMPLOYER IS THE ONE PAYING YOU
Fun fact : “tip” in French is “pourboire”, literally “for drinking”
Because a tip is supposed to allow the waitstaff to get themselves a drink at the end of the day
NOT FEED THEIR FAMILIES
Monica Bellucci 1988
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek
give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job
This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.
if I was hannibal and someone accused me I would be like “really? is it because of my name? I was under the impression that we were all adults here, but it seems i was mistaken.” and they would be so embarrassed they would have no choice but let me go
tomparkerpetermanspiderholland:
Meme idea
Photoshop the goose from untitled goose game into the background of a photo of a place where something bad happens, but it’s a photo of before the bad thing happening, so it’s implied that the goose caused it
like this
OH IF I HAD PHOTOSHOP THE TITANIC WOULD BE MY FIRST TARGET
Say no more
You are my personal hero I hope you know this
May I present a humble alternative, where the goose is present during the bad thing happening, example:
Oh my god
Put him in Pompeii
i hope it’s okay that this one is stylized;; our dear time traveler must stay with the times if they must wreak havoc appropriately
@grimmtales13 @timetravelingcacti
Your wish is my command
DOES THE GOOSE HAVE A FUCKIN KNIFE TOO!?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
this knife has caused me more suffering than any amount of editing will in my life