recently learned about a horticultural technique called Espalier, it’s the funniest goddamn thing i’ve ever seen.
Espalier allows trees to be trained into 2-dimensions, by tying the branches to a flat surface as the tree grows. They literally flatten the tree. They make the tree flat. Flat tree!!!
Look at this. This is objectively hilarious:
And people get fancy about it. Look at this nonsense:
(the first one’s called a Belgian Fence, and can be used as an actual fence)
Espalier is actually a very useful technique for
increasing fruit yield
gardening is small spaces
maximizing or minimizing sunlight (since the branches all face the same direction) and therefore extending the growing season
Like. this is a legitimately practical gardening method. but it looks like they squished a tree between the pages of a book. just squashed it flat like a sad little dried flower! i could use these trees as a bookmark!!!
But yes, it is also a healthy and clever way to grow lots of fruit in small spaces, in climates they might not otherwise be suited for. I’m still going to make fun of it, but it honestly looks delightful and delicious.
Espalier!
i showed this to my cousin and she said “just cause it’s flat doesn’t mean it’s 2d” and, with a completely straight face, said “it’s tree-d” anyway im crying
please tell your cousin she made the author of this post cry
