The Signs as Strange Planets

Aries: Wasp 12 b ; Orbits WAY too close to its star making it slowly die.
Taurus: HD188753 ; Has 3 stars, everywhere you look there’s a sunset/rise.
Gemini: 55 Cancri e ; A gigantic diamond worth about 26.9 non million dollars.
Cancer: GJ 1214 b ; Completely made of water, no land.
Leo: Gliese 581 c ; Can possibly support life in a small area but 1 side is too hot and the other too cold.
Virgo: Kepler 438 b ; The most earth-like planet.
Libra: HD189773 b ; Rains glass sideways constantly.
Scorpio: TrEs 26 ; Darkest Planet ever, glows red.
Sagittarius: Wasp 17 b ; Largest Planet ever.
Capricorn: J1407-B ; Has rings 200 times bigger than Saturn’s.
Aquarius: Gliese 436 b ; A ball of ice that is constantly on fire.
Pisces: HD 106906 b ; The loneliest place et, 1.1 times bigger than Jupiter.

Me: Wow, the stars sure look beautiful tonight.
Person: Yeah, they are.
Me: You know what else is beautiful?
Person: *blushes* what?
Me: Slavic languages

Wanda: This isn’t paprika.
Vision: Oh… What is it?
Gordon Ramsay, from a distance: IT’S CAYENNE YOU DENSE FUCK

Zemo: Pop
Bucky: ???
Zemo: Six
Bucky: …no.
Zemo: Squish
Bucky: No.
Zemo: Uh-uh
Bucky: NO.
Zemo: Cicero
Bucky: NO!!!
Zemo: Lipschitz
Bucky [voiceover]: Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can’t remember a thing. It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.

Steve Rogers: He’s my friend.
Tony Stark: So was I.
Everyone: …
Natasha Romanov: Were you?
Steve: I feel like we were allies, rather than friends. We never really hung out.
Tony: We hung out in New York that time. We fought space whales.
Steve: Yeah because we were allies. We had a common goal. Saving New York was more important than our mutual dislike.
Tony: but you liked me by the end of it.
Steve: I gained a grudging respect for you. That’s hardly the same.
Tony: I do not see the difference.
James Rhodes: He really doesn’t.
Tony: We had shwarma!
Natasha: Stark, we ate in total silence.
Tony: Silent comradery.
Natasha: It was super uncomfortable and I have beem tortured.
Tony: What about when we fought Ulton?
Steve: Again, really more of an ally situation.
Tony: Alright, I’m pretty sure those are the same thing. Like some people pumas and some people cougars. Used or Preowned. Crocodiles and Aligators.
Rhodey: Crocodiles and Aligators are not the same thing. You have several degrees.
Tony: look all I’m saying is friend and ally is the samething. Cap and I are friends.
Steve: Okay, look remember World War Two?
Tony: No, you and your boyfriend were the only ones there for that. Congratu-freakin’-lations.
Steve: Anyway, in World War Two the US fought with England and Russia. England was our friend. We didn’t always get along but we started with them. We came from the same background. They had our back. Russia was our ally. We didn’t agree on much but we knew we needed them to beat the nazis. After the war, we helped England rebuild and he’s had our back ever since. Bucky, what did Russia do again?
Bucky raises metal hand.
Steve: Oh right, they tortured and brainwashed my best friend. Big difference.
Natasha: That analogy got weird at the end.

Steve Rogers: He’s my friend.
Tony Stark: So was I.
Everyone: …
Natasha Romanov: Were you?
Steve: I feel like we were allies, rather than friends. We never really hung out.
Tony: We hung out in New York that time. We fought space whales.
Steve: Yeah because we were allies. We had a common goal. Saving New York was more important than our mutual dislike.
Tony: but you liked me by the end of it.
Steve: I gained a grudging respect for you. That’s hardly the same.
Tony: I do not see the difference.
James Rhodes: He really doesn’t.
Tony: We had shwarma!
Natasha: Stark, we ate in total silence.
Tony: Silent comradery.
Natasha: It was super uncomfortable and I have beem tortured.
Tony: What about when we fought Ulton?
Steve: Again, really more of an ally situation.
Tony: Alright, I’m pretty sure those are the same thing. Like some people pumas and some people cougars. Used or Preowned. Crocodiles and Aligators.
Rhodey: Crocodiles and Aligators are not the same thing. You have several degrees.
Tony: look all I’m saying is friend and ally is the samething. Cap and I are friends.
Steve: Okay, look remember World War Two?
Tony: No, you and your boyfriend were the only ones there for that. Congratu-freakin’-lations.
Steve: Anyway, in World War Two the US fought with England and Russia. England was our friend. We didn’t always get along but we started with them. We came from the same background. They had our back. Russia was our ally. We didn’t agree on much but we knew we needed them to beat the nazis. After the war, we helped England rebuild and he’s had our back ever since. Bucky, what did Russia do again?
Bucky raises metal hand.
Steve: Oh right, they tortured and brainwashed my best friend. Big difference.
Natasha: That analogy got weird at the end.

Steve Rogers: He’s my friend.
Tony Stark: So was I.
Everyone: …
Natasha Romanov: Were you?
Steve: I feel like we were allies, rather than friends. We never really hung out.
Tony: We hung out in New York that time. We fought space whales.
Steve: Yeah because we were allies. We had a common goal. Saving New York was more important than our mutual dislike.
Tony: but you liked me by the end of it.
Steve: I gained a grudging respect for you. That’s hardly the same.
Tony: I do not see the difference.
James Rhodes: He really doesn’t.
Tony: We had shwarma!
Natasha: Stark, we ate in total silence.
Tony: Silent comradery.
Natasha: It was super uncomfortable and I have beem tortured.
Tony: What about when we fought Ulton?
Steve: Again, really more of an ally situation.
Tony: Alright, I’m pretty sure those are the same thing. Like some people pumas and some people cougars. Used or Preowned. Crocodiles and Aligators.
Rhodey: Crocodiles and Aligators are not the same thing. You have several degrees.
Tony: look all I’m saying is friend and ally is the samething. Cap and I are friends.
Steve: Okay, look remember World War Two?
Tony: No, you and your boyfriend were the only ones there for that. Congratu-freakin’-lations.
Steve: Anyway, in World War Two the US fought with England and Russia. England was our friend. We didn’t always get along but we started with them. We came from the same background. They had our back. Russia was our ally. We didn’t agree on much but we knew we needed them to beat the nazis. After the war, we helped England rebuild and he’s had our back ever since. Bucky, what did Russia do again?
Bucky raises metal hand.
Steve: Oh right, they tortured and brainwashed my best friend. Big difference.
Natasha: That analogy got weird at the end.