ugh

herdivineshadow:

really not into whatever tumblr did to their RSS feeds about a month ago

Like…this is actually a post that has a reblog of an Anakin & Padme meme and ughhhh.

Yes. Yes I browse tumblr using feedly. I used to use Google Reader. And the great thing about using an RSS reader is that the tumblrs that tumbl several hundred posts a week can go in one category and the tumblrs that tumblr about twenty can go in another, and I can zip through the tumblrs that post less and not just lose them while rolling about in the great waterfall of tumbls ones.

zootndingo:

sevdrag:

squid-viscous:

augustdementhe:

glumshoe:

sailor-lady:

glumshoe:

demonoftheforest:

glumshoe:

countesspetofi:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

there are only two genders: frog and pig

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

oh god

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

This thread weakened my pelvic floor. 

Need some loose threads in the pelvic floor to allow the Hand in 🤔

only on Tumblr.

🤯

theroguefeminist:

isaacsapphire:

silver-tongues-blog:

octoberbastards:

fox-in-the-library:

mojoflower:

“But [Tumblr’s] value, of course, is more than just what it isn’t, and what it points away from. Despite all the drama and discourse lurking in its corners, it’s easy to make your own Tumblr life as simple and as happy as you want it to be. There are no algorithmic threats lurking around every corner, no onslaught of promoted posts from politicians or influencers. More than anything else, Tumblr in 2020 is a self-sustaining ecosystem. It’s a semi-sealed and increasingly fertile terrarium, a nigh-impossible perpetual-motion machine of a platform going productively psychotic in its isolation.”

@areyougonnabe, “The Ever-Mutating Life of Tumblr Dot Com” 

Let’s be honest, going productively psychotic in isolation is this year’s mood.

Tumblr is a hellsite but goddammit its our hellsite

This really reminds me about this paper I read about private roads that weren’t very well maintained. The thing is, nobody goes down one of those roads unless they have to, they have a lot of ground clearance and confidence, and even then they go slow and careful unless they have a muddin’ truck. So even if the road is technically a through road, ain’t nobody going to go speeding through there, making noise and endangering children. Which, it turns out, is seen as a positive by many residents, enough to offset the whole having to own a 4×4 thing.

Sometimes, things that look shitty are actually protective.

tumblr is for the outcasts. it’s always been. for better and for worse

It’s that time again

I mean, I GUESS I could read my actual tumblr dash, rather than stubbornly following the tumblrs I’m interested in via a RSS reader BUT THEN I wouldn’t get to play the “did they delete or rename” game when clicking on the thing in my RSS reader brings up the OH IT’S GONE tumblr page.

Although I guess now there is the added bonus of “maybe they got marked explicit and haven’t figured out how to get unflagged?”

whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome:

rhube:

berlynn-wohl:

prokopetz:

ruingaraf:

prokopetz:

I’ll be honest, whenever a work of speculative fiction (fanmade or otherwise) goes out of its way to describe an intelligent species with bizarre and complicated reproductive biology, the first question that invariably pops into my head is: “How do these critters masturbate?”

what if masturbation was uniquely a human experience though

Okay, I know that you meant “what if humans are the only intelligent species that’s anatomically capable of masturbating?”, but now I’m picturing a universe where humans are the only ones that ever thought to try it.

Human masturbation specialists traveling the galaxy to offer our gift, undertaking rigorous study and enormous personal risk to teach weird-ass aliens how to rub one out.

Calculating the exact harmonic frequencies to allow ancient, vacuum-dwelling crystalline intelligences to self-stimulate.

Descending into the crushing atmospheres of gas giants in specially constructed aerostats to design sex toys for the vast, jellyfish-like super-predators that prowl the hurricane slipstreams.

Wanking is our genius. Our legacy.

That last addition is possibly my favourite thing Tumblr has ever done for the world.

I’M FCUKIGN WEHEZENIG