assassinationtipsforladies:

sockdrawerdemon:

licensetocannibalize:

twomenkissing:

first of all none of us could afford hannibal’s therapy

unaired episode where hannibal accepts medicaid

Hannibal is independently wealthy and deeply invested in fucking with people who are interesting enough. Show up with a good story about how you are trying very hard to not give in to the urge to make tiny statues out of people’s teeth and he’ll see you for free.

Sliding scale payments where the scale is how fucking weird you are

corleonead:

Everyone, including me, who’s familiar with Pride and Prejudice: Hahahaha Mr. Collins’ is so useless and thinks he’s so fantastic at small talk, but he isn’t.

Me at any given Christmas dinner party: WHAT EXCELLENT BOILED POTATOES- MANY YEARS HAVE PASSED SINCE I’VE SEEN SUCH AN EXEMPLARY VEGETABLE