I love how it’s “The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and MISTER Hyde” as in, yeah, they are basically two sides of the same person but only ONE has a doctorate
#unless your bitch ass second personality helped you write that thesis it is your fucking doctorate
Remember in like 2013 it came out that Samsung smart TVs were revealed to be “always listening” and the data collected being sent to Samsung and it was an entire whole scandal about home privacy and the unethical collection and sale of marketing information.
Then the very next year the Amazon Alexa comes out and its practically sold as Your Friend The Data Collection Device, but its ok because this one has a soft human voice and is literally designed to be anthropomorphised. Who could stay mad at Alexa? “She” even has a people name!
I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan, is… I think I love you.
rich ppl are like so easily convinced abt ghosts I remember growing up it was near this vacant lot and whenever I broke a toy instead of going to face the wrath of my mother I would fucking bury it in that lot and then sure enough, some dude tried to develop the land and found a ton of buried rotten dolls and shit and told everyone it was haunted
it’s been over a decade and that lot is still vacant
You single handedly tanked the value of someone’s prime real estate and that makes me happy
As soon as I read this I immediately started thinking of ways to do this on purpose to get cheap land and I was five posts down my dash before I realised I was becoming Scooby Doo villain
I’ll be honest, whenever a work of speculative fiction (fanmade or otherwise) goes out of its way to describe an intelligent species with bizarre and complicated reproductive biology, the first question that invariably pops into my head is: “How do these critters masturbate?”
what if masturbation was uniquely a human experience though
Okay, I know that you meant “what if humans are the only intelligent species that’s anatomically capable of masturbating?”, but now I’m picturing a universe where humans are the only ones that ever thought to try it.
Human masturbation specialists traveling the galaxy to offer our gift, undertaking rigorous study and enormous personal risk to teach weird-ass aliens how to rub one out.
Calculating the exact harmonic frequencies to allow ancient, vacuum-dwelling crystalline intelligences to self-stimulate.
Descending into the crushing atmospheres of gas giants in specially constructed aerostats to design sex toys for the vast, jellyfish-like super-predators that prowl the hurricane slipstreams.
Wanking is our genius. Our legacy.
That last addition is possibly my favourite thing Tumblr has ever done for the world.
