protestants: god is not an absent father! talk to god like a friend! god is always with you! bring your problems to god, no matter how small! it’s not at all weird to call god “daddy!”
catholics: god is far too important to give a fuck about your lost keys or your algebra exam. please address your petty concerns to one of god’s ten thousand holy secretaries. if it’s really important, consider asking his mom.
In the shape of things to come, too much poison come undone, because there’s nothing else to do… Every me and every you.
“Oh, honey, is this a proposal?”
“Baby, I don’t have a diamond yet.”Ocean’s 8 (2018) dir. Gary Ross
earlier today tom and i were eating dinner, which involved peas, and i said “do you remember the peas and honey rhyme?”1
tom was like huh no what?
and i looked it up and it’s REAL, and it was written by some anonymous genius. anyway then it was stuck rattling around loudly in my head all evening, so here u go, please enjoy:
I eat my peas with honey;
I’ve done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife.2—
1 it’s important to note at this juncture that we were not, in fact, eating peas and honey. we were eating peas with mashed potato and gravy. also some vegetarian sausages made by cauldron, which frankly i do not recommend. they have too much pepper in. mashed potato can also help peas stick to the knife, but it doesn’t rhyme as easily.
2 when i googled “peas and honey”, the first result was for a page at the poetry foundation with this rhyme in. very fancy. apparently shel silverstein didn’t write it. that’s all the authorship information they have: not ol’ shel!
I feel like I saw this in a book of jokes/funny poems I had as a kid (in fairness, it’s probably still in the house somewhere) and there was also a poem by Mark Lamarr in there
ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES (1993) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld
#Someday i gotta write the fic where Mortica meets a Pastel Goth and has to revaluate her Aesthetic Philosophies#Morticia my darling! You have The Vapours!#I never Knew Gomez!#I never knew pink could be so menacing! It was like looking into a terifying parallel dimension! it was wretched! It was horrifying!#It was- She collapsed onto the fainting couch in Peak Gothic Fashion- EXHILARATING
This was far too good to leave in the tags
I am a huge proponent of going to the movies by yourself. you can go whenever it’s convenient for you, you can spend as much or as little on snacks as you want, AND (the best part of all) no one talks to you during the movie
always shocked that people are like “aah i have no one who wants to see this movie with me so i guess i’m not seeing it :/” like may i change your life with 3 simple steps: 1. go to the cinema 2. buy a ticket 3. see the movie
*hannibal lecter voice* Pepsi-Cola is a carbonated beverage dating back to 1893, typically enjoyed with a pleasant meal in the company of loved ones. Effervescence bubbles and seethes in the dark nectar like a thousand tiny gasps for air, reminding us of inky ocean depths, or perhaps of the secret shameful thoughts that boil within our own psyches. Tell me, Will, what dark desires are bubbling to the surface of your mind? Will they taste sweet as syrup if you try to swallow them? Or will they give you a tummy ache?