Y’know, when I was a kid, if I broke the rules my dad would beat me; but it kinda numbed the pain. So I kept breaking the rules to get the pain. So, no. I’m not scared.
Okay, while I do like the idea of Fraser and Kowalski finding each other in the great northern wilderness, I really like the idea that Fraser and Kowalski are just so clueless and hopeless and uncertain about approaching each other romantically that it take’s Vecchio’s first visit up to set them up with each other.
For the first couple of days, Vecchio’s all like, “Okay, I was pretty sure Benny swung both ways but I can’t believe he’s sleeping with Kowalski and then, as the days pass, his dawning horror he realizes that these two morons have been living together in close quarters for months and neither has made the first move yet and God I don’t believe I, the only heterosexual in this plumbingless shack now has to get my adopted quirky younger brother to hook up with this punk that I like, but only grudgingly and dear lord I hope they wait until I leave to start going at it because there’s only one room in this place.
Sacredness is a form of entropy. It accrues to the rational like pollen falling earthward on a spring day or leaves during an autumn chill. The Jacobins and others established their “Cult of Reason,” or their “Cult of the Supreme Being,” re-dedicating churches as temples of reason, and enacting a festival in that ideal’s name upon the altar of Notre Dame. But ultimately temples are places of faith, no matter how loud the denials. A cult is still a cult, after all.
Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something
some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.
Some of my favorites include:
Shaft of Delight (1700s)
Womb Sweeper (1980s)
Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
Corporal Love (1930s)
Staff of Life (1880s)
Spindle (1530s)
As good as ever twanged (1670s)
Gaying Instrument (1810s)
Beef Torpedo (1980s)
and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble
And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:
Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
Poontang (1950s)
Spunk Box (1720s)
Ringerangroo (1930s)
Ineffable (1890s)
Itching Jenny (1890s)
Carnal Mantrap (1890s – a busy decade apparently)
Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
Rough Malkin (1530s)
Socket (1460s)
and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.
