all those posts like “don’t give yourself bangs during quarantine” “don’t dye your hair” “don’t shave your head” are honestly bullshit this is the Perfect time you’re literally not allowed to leave the house for god knows how long do something crazy who gives a fuck
The only thing holding me back is attempting to find my preferred brand of hair bleach, since I’ve not bleached my head in 6 years
– The fic starts out great, nice style, language, captivating summary. It’s unfinished and has been abandoned since 2013.
– The fic is complete, nice style, language, tons of kudos speak for themselves. It’s about your NOTP.
– The fic is about your OTP, it’s complete, it’s kinky as hell. The plot is absolutely dumbass.
– The plot sounds great, it’s about your OTP, it’s complete. The characters are horribly OOC.
– Everything is perfect in this fic, starting from the first letter and ending with the last full stop. It’s exactly 800 words long.
– The fic’s word count is a six-figure number, it’s about your OTP, characters are compliant with your head-canon. It’s dull and boring as seven hells.
– The beginning is enthralling, everything’s great, the plot, the style, it’s long and it’s even about your OTP. It features something that makes you close the tab as soon as you open it, like father/daughter incest or mpreg or some other squicky thing.
– Everything is perfect in this fic, the length, the characters, the language, the style, you forget you’re reading fanfic, thinking it’s a masterpiece of true literature, you cry tears of joy and write a huge review full of gushing love and then rush to the author’s profile to read every other thing they’ve written. It’s their only work.
why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job
Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?
“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.”
I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…
I mean.
“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”
“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.”
This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future. So the next time you see artwork like this:
Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”
Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*
This post is a blessing
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