Maybe this is a question that has been asked many times, but have any of us considered that Santa Claus makes the most sense if he is one of the Great Old Ones?
Capable of instantaneous travel all over the globe; he spans nations
Many unpaid minions who seem to live only to do his bidding
Including eight hooved, horned, flying monstrosities
Possibly nine if you count He Who Glows
An unknown, unseen mate hidden away in a barren arctic waste
He is himself all-seeing, all-knowing
Used to scare children into good behavior
Offers extremely conditional gifts
Appeased by offerings, for the most part
His belly swells greatly with offerings, described as “gelatinous”
(cf “Shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly”)
Despite this, he is “lively and quick”
Per the famous documentary “The Santa Clause”, when one dies, another must rise
Are we certain he has no tentacles? What’s under the beard?
When in mortal form, dresses entirely in furs
His yearly festival drives all who worship him mad
I think we all need to start acclimating ourselves to the idea that one of the Great Old Ones has, in fact, risen, and he is coming to town.
299 Religions not provided for elsewhere
“Religions not provided for elsewhere” feels like a real mood somehow.
villains are hard to design. making them ugly is dangerous, depending on what traits you choose to frame as monstrous or undesirable, you could very well end up saying something fatphobic, racist, anti-semitic, etc
but if you make a hot villain then people will get thirsty and demand redemptions and refuse to acknowledge their evil actions, no matter how despicable
Solution: Full body armor and masks. You don’t see people shipping themselves with Sauron!
…………..you think?
…………..don’t look up Sauron on AO3
Nothing fails to crack me up like this post – the vain hope that somewhere out there is some awful nasty thing that there is not also a person whose kink that is, the idea that covering something up won’t make people obsessed with finding out what it looks like underneath, the surface level understanding of Sauron and complete lack of knowledge of the Silmarillion and it’s fandom, the fact that Sauron was canonically hot as fuck, the amount of Sauron erotica I have seen, God this post never gets old
The Poster Of The Comment: You don’t see people shipping themselves with Sauron!
The Very Large And Dedicated Community Of Sauronfuckers In The Tolkien Fandom, collectively:
Point. For those who have not read Sillmarilion, Sauron used to look something like this
i have to say “sauron used to be hot” is one of my favorite sauron facts
