first of all none of us could afford hannibal’s therapy
unaired episode where hannibal accepts medicaid
Hannibal is independently wealthy and deeply invested in fucking with people who are interesting enough. Show up with a good story about how you are trying very hard to not give in to the urge to make tiny statues out of people’s teeth and he’ll see you for free.
Sliding scale payments where the scale is how fucking weird you are
the absolute mindfuck of learning that when americans said “pumpkin spice” they were talking about like. nutmeg and cinnamon. and not adding pumpkin flavouring to stuff
Everyone, including me, who’s familiar with Pride and Prejudice: Hahahaha Mr. Collins’ is so useless and thinks he’s so fantastic at small talk, but he isn’t.
Me at any given Christmas dinner party: WHAT EXCELLENT BOILED POTATOES- MANY YEARS HAVE PASSED SINCE I’VE SEEN SUCH AN EXEMPLARY VEGETABLE
Men want her. Women want to be her. Children befriend her but their parents fear her. Doctors hate her and police officers’ heads explode in her presence.
Scientific consensus on her nature and origins has not been reached.
Authorities warn civilians to stay away from her and report any sightings immediately.
