my detested rival: why, madam, you look so drawn and pale today! does the small size of your estate not give you enough freedom to take in the sun?
me: listen you waxy, lemon-faced bitch,,
i know i wouldnt survive in an austen novel because someone would be britishly, discretely rude to me and i would be completely unable to restrain myself from calling them a cunt to their face
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