trying to convince people who don’t live around corn that you Do Not Fuck With Corn is such a weird and exhausting conversation like how am i supposed to convince your california ass that something evil is within those stalks and its not the same thing every time and maybe its not always there but its always watching and this is not the kinda monster that you wanna fuck its the kinda monster that Fucks You Up™
STOP. COMING. INTO. MY. INBOX. TELLING. ME. YOU’LL. FUCK. THE. CORN. MONSTER.
He Who Walks Behind The Rows is not interested. I promise you that.