spam email that starts off with “Behold!” is setting a damn high bar for itself

Broke: Starting your spam email with “Behold!”

Woke: Starting your spam email with “Hwaet!”

Muse, tell me the story of a complicated man,
the man who sold aluminium extrusion at an incredible price,

I sing of arms and the man who first from the shores of Troy, exiled by fate came to Italy and Lavinian shores, with a really unnaturally large dick, here look at these pills they’ll change your life.

Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote

The droghte of March hath perced to the roote

And bathed every veyne in swich licour,

Of which vertu engendred is the flour;

Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth

Inspired hath in every holt and heeth

The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne

Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,

And smale foweles maken melodye,

That slepen al the nyght with open eye-

(So priketh hem Nature in hir corages);

Thanne longen folk to save up to 80% during our Easter mega-savings sale event

@bbcphile @bifilthatonthatseson

I can’t even…


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