“But [Tumblr’s] value, of course, is more than just what it isn’t, and what it points away from. Despite all the drama and discourse lurking in its corners, it’s easy to make your own Tumblr life as simple and as happy as you want it to be. There are no algorithmic threats lurking around every corner, no onslaught of promoted posts from politicians or influencers. More than anything else, Tumblr in 2020 is a self-sustaining ecosystem. It’s a semi-sealed and increasingly fertile terrarium, a nigh-impossible perpetual-motion machine of a platform going productively psychotic in its isolation.”

@areyougonnabe, “The Ever-Mutating Life of Tumblr Dot Com” 

Let’s be honest, going productively psychotic in isolation is this year’s mood.

Tumblr is a hellsite but goddammit its our hellsite

This really reminds me about this paper I read about private roads that weren’t very well maintained. The thing is, nobody goes down one of those roads unless they have to, they have a lot of ground clearance and confidence, and even then they go slow and careful unless they have a muddin’ truck. So even if the road is technically a through road, ain’t nobody going to go speeding through there, making noise and endangering children. Which, it turns out, is seen as a positive by many residents, enough to offset the whole having to own a 4×4 thing.

Sometimes, things that look shitty are actually protective.

tumblr is for the outcasts. it’s always been. for better and for worse

It’s that time again

I mean, I GUESS I could read my actual tumblr dash, rather than stubbornly following the tumblrs I’m interested in via a RSS reader BUT THEN I wouldn’t get to play the “did they delete or rename” game when clicking on the thing in my RSS reader brings up the OH IT’S GONE tumblr page.

Although I guess now there is the added bonus of “maybe they got marked explicit and haven’t figured out how to get unflagged?”







I’ll be honest, whenever a work of speculative fiction (fanmade or otherwise) goes out of its way to describe an intelligent species with bizarre and complicated reproductive biology, the first question that invariably pops into my head is: “How do these critters masturbate?”

what if masturbation was uniquely a human experience though

Okay, I know that you meant “what if humans are the only intelligent species that’s anatomically capable of masturbating?”, but now I’m picturing a universe where humans are the only ones that ever thought to try it.

Human masturbation specialists traveling the galaxy to offer our gift, undertaking rigorous study and enormous personal risk to teach weird-ass aliens how to rub one out.

Calculating the exact harmonic frequencies to allow ancient, vacuum-dwelling crystalline intelligences to self-stimulate.

Descending into the crushing atmospheres of gas giants in specially constructed aerostats to design sex toys for the vast, jellyfish-like super-predators that prowl the hurricane slipstreams.

Wanking is our genius. Our legacy.

That last addition is possibly my favourite thing Tumblr has ever done for the world.