I reached the Department of Doing Things Especially Quickly just before 9.00 p.m. The elevator was now reciting the history of the Department the way it was supposed to, which made me glum until I realised it was making up all of the dates.
    ‘Way to go,’ I whispered to it as I got out. ‘Fight ‘em from within.’
    ‘Right on’ it whispered back.

Michael Marshall Smith, Only Forward