Never Again (4×13)
Never Again (4×13)
The Marvel Cinematic Universe throughout the years
‘Star Trek: Voyager’ Gothic
- You’ve been on this tiny ship in the Delta Quadrant beyond any hope of recrew or resupply for over a year, but you keep seeing ensigns you don’t recognise. Everyone tells you that they’ve always been here
- You go down to Engineering looking for Lt. Carey. B’elanna tells you that he’s just stepped out. He’s been ‘just stepped out’ for days.
- A shuttle crashes on a desert planet. You speak with Chakotay about the possibility of trading for some new shuttles, but he looks at you funny and says “but we already have a full compliment of shuttles”
- You run to the shuttlebay and inspect them personally. There is a full compliment of shuttles. And none of them even have a scratch.
- The next week, a shuttle is torn to pieces in a plasma storm. You’re not even surprised when you find intact it in the shuttlebay an hour later.
- You stop mentioning shuttles.
- The ship has an encounter with some Kazon, but manages to get away. Their ships are primitive and slow and you shouldn’t run into them again.
- Two weeks later, you meet the same Kazon, now somehow in front of you. You begin to suspect that you’re driving in circles
- You go to Engineering looking for Lt. Carey. You haven’t seen him in two years. He’s ‘not there right now, but should be back in a minute’.
- Janeway and Paris travel at warp 10 and turn into salamanders. You’re *sure* that it happened. You *remember* it happening! But no one brings it up. When you ask Tom about it, he doesn’t even register the question.
- You scream “BUT YOU WERE A SALAMANDER!” into his ear. He doesn’t even hear you.
- You see another Ensign you don’t recognise. You finslly just ask the computer for the crew compliment of Voyager. You are told that the answer is: 121.
- A month later, the Hirogen conquer the ship, spend weeks brainwashing and surgically altering the crew into believing that they are actually characters in holographic simulations, and then hunt them for sport. This culminates in a pitched battle between the crew and the Hirogen in which the ship is utterly wrecked and dozens of people are killed.
- Afterwards, you ask the computer for the ship’s crew compliment. You are told that the answer is: 147
- The next day, you wake up and find Voyager restored to its original state.
- You make a discreet inquiry about Lt. Carey. Now everyone acts like he’s dead but can’t tell you precisely when or how.
- The Captain takes you aside one day and specifically instructs you not to mention Ensign Jetal to the Doctor. She says that she knows that this will be difficult, given how close we all were to her (and you in particular), but that for the greater good of the crew, you need to act like Ensign Jetal never existed. You solemnly nod your head and consent, and she gives you a comradely pat on the shoulder and leaves the room.
- You have absolutely no idea who Ensign Jetal is.
- Voyager absorbs the remaining crew of the USS Equinox. Well at least you’ll finally have an explanation for the new crew you see around the ship! You never see any of them ever again.
- You’ve now travelled almost 40,000 light years towards home. You check the star charts; somehow, you’re still in the Delta Quadrant. You begin to wonder if the Beta Quadrant even exists.
- The Delta Flyer is destroyed by Borg torpedos. You don’t even bother to check the shuttlebay for it, you just instinctively know that it will be back
- A few months later, the Captain gives you the sad news: Lt. Carey is dead.
- You finally make it back to the Alpha Quadrant, say your tearful farewells, and receive a handshake and a promotion from Admiral Paris. As one last thought before leaving Voyager forever, you pay a visit to the shuttlebay. You find it utterly empty, except for one lowly crewman with a mop and pail, swabbing the deck. “I…guess that Starfleet must have already cleared out the remaining shuttles?” You say uncertainly, your voice echoing in the cavernous, empty room. The crewman breaks off his mopping and looks at you like you’ve lost your mind and says: “Voyager never had any shuttles.”
This is amazing
For my 3D production class I had to create a three shot short that was a remake of an existing movie scene- with muppets. I ran out of time to do the particle water effects, but this is basically Pacific Rim anyway.
We’re losing our collective shit laughing at this. Holy crap it’s so funny, please turn the sound on.
this is amazing
This will never not be funny.
Nothing is funnier to me than ppl with rly wild jobs still just being people and having long tired mornings like everyone else. Just heard a doctor in the lab say “I have to go do some cloning” with the same level of enthusiasm I use to say I’m gonna do the dishes.
sam: do you want to tell me about her?
old!steve: no, I don’t think I will
steve, taking off the photostatic mask: I’m just fucking with you! you really thought I wanted to go back to boiled potatoes and no internet?
bucky, in the background: steve u asshole you were supposed to wait and see how long it took for him to figure it out