so last night I had a dream that everyone in scooby doo went to college or something except for shaggy and scooby and shaggy was morosely trading in the mystery machine for a prius and the last thing I remember before waking up was scooby saying “raggy why” and shaggy goes “we need a car with better gas mileage scoob”
although character backgrounds are fairly fluid through the Scooby Doo franchise, of all the gang, Norville “Shaggy” Roberts is A> the most financially well of, and B>the most likely to get an athletic scholarship. Daphne’s parents are rich, but she has for sisters, and the money is her parents still. Shaggy however is the sole beneficiary of the estate of his late uncle Beauregard, who left him an unspecifiedly large fortune and a large southern plantation. Shaggy is independently wealthy. Shaggy is also said, at multiple points across the various series, to have, in high school, won numerous awards in both Track and gymnastics. Coupled with the fact that he can outrun Scooby at times, and Great Danes can sustain speeds of 30 mph, means Shaggy can outrun Usain Bolt, atleast is there’s a mummy behind him, or a pizza at the finish line.
TL:DR Shaggy is doing fine and you don’t need to worry about him.
Now, let’s talk about how, CANNONICALLY, Scooby can speak human languages because he is distantly related to dread Cthulhu…
of all the useless information compiled on this website, this is the best thing I’ve ever heard
Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like:
“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?”
“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.”
“…Noted.”
“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material – however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.”
“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”
“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”
“Yeah.”
“Does such a process not hurt?”
“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.”
“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?”
“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?”
“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.”
I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.
Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues
