Aries: You love like a coffee table book, lavishly displaying beautiful things in a way that can be used to bludgeon a man to death.
Taurus: You love like a fishmonger, dependable, straightforward, and full of delicious high-quality fish.
Gemini: You love like a carboard box, normal on the outside, but full of surprises on the inside! Highly flammable!
Cancer: You love like a five star review. Made with love. One more badge on the breast of someone who absolutely deserves it.
Leo: You love like market research. Rarely appreciated, but necessary. To those that do appreciate you, you are a labor of love.
Virgo: You love like the golden ratio. Always present, especially in nautilus shells. You love like nautilus shells.
Libra: You love like winter. Consistently, regularly, leaving the world a different place as you pass through.
Scorpio: You love like a cat with no eyes. Almost correct. Hungry for lifeblood. Large teeth.
Ophiuchus: You love like a jpeg. Calmly. Quietly. Able to be layered over existing loves, as your background is transparent.
Sagittarius: You love like an illegally converted loft. A place of highly illegal warmth and safety.
Capricorn: You love like a lightning strike. The cause of several strange allergies, often leading to more of yourself.
Aquarius: You love like a bear hunting knife. You are sharp. You kill bears. What more is there to tell?
Pisces: You love like the theater. Mystical, strange, endlessly study-able but impossible to perfect.