Your players are faced with an ancient Sumerian curse! However, since the early ancient Sumerian language was only used for recording tax debts, it turns out to actually be an ancient Sumerian bill.

and therefore they need to get hold of some ancient Sumerian coinage and bring it to the ruins of the ancient Sumerian tax office, because the Sumerians had a pleasingly direct way of preventing tax evasion, namely horrifying curses.

well I don’t have any coin but I have these copper ingots, lovely copper ingots, from a very reputable merchant, never heard a word said against him, very thorough with his paperwork, anyway they’re guaranteed pure copper and proper weight, so can I pay my tax with those?

I just want everyone to take a step back for a second and really think about how we’re using the most powerful knowledge tool in history to make jokes about a specific dude who lived almost 4000 years ago.

it’s fuckin wonderful, is what it is.

Ea-nasir has been dead for 4700 fraudy fraudy years.

I can’t tell y’all as a person who studies Sumeria and knew about him before it was cool how fucking weird it is that Ea-Nasir is now a meme.

As much as I love Ea-nasir being a meme, there is something else displayed in the assyriology section of the British Museum near the Complaint tablet to Ea-nasir that I think is just as meme-worthy

Let me introduce to you to five clay model dogs found beneath a palace doorway at Nineveh. They guard against devils and demons and are modelled after real dogs that lived there over 2650 years ago

Their names are Loud is his bark!, Biter of his foe!, Don’t think, bite!, Catcher of the enemy! and Expeller of evil!

and I love them

the exclamation points just make this