I’ve been listening to too many podcasts, I guess, because this happened:

“Hi there, and welcome to Dos Grandes Avocados, the podcast where we tell you how to sue someone and win, as long as you promise us a cut of that filthy, filthy lucre.”

[laughter] “Foggy, that is not what we do.”

“Good point, Matt. I’d like to remind our listeners that we are only law students and thus cannot officially advise in a legal capacity. However, we can accept unrelated cash gifts. Also, neither you nor Matt can tell this, but I’m winking outrageously right now.”

“It was indicated, yeah.”

“As new listeners have probably figured out by now, I’m Foggy and he’s Matt. Otherwise known to our fellow law students, among whom we are very popular, as Legal Eagle and Legal Beagle!”

“Are we? That’s new.”

“You know, I didn’t figure out before I started this bit which of us was Eagle and which of us was Beagle. I guess I’m Beagle because of my lovable, loyal nature.”

“And I’m Eagle because of my exceptional eyesight?”

“Okay, fine, you’re Beagle because you have a nose like a bloodhound, and I’m Eagle because I love snatching wild salmon directly out of rivers with my talons.”

“You do love that.”

“Seriously, folks, the nose on this guy. Don’t ever borrow his shampoo without asking, he will be able to tell. Not that you’ll have the opportunity, because he’s my roommate and I’m never ever giving him up.”


“That’s a heck of a smile I’m seeing there, listeners.”

[cough] “Shouldn’t we, you know, get on with the podcast?”

“Right! This is an exciting episode because we have a special guest! The brilliant and beautiful nursing student Claire Temple is here to talk about how to perform an emergency appendectomy using nothing but nail scissors…”

“That is not going to happen.”

“…and then we’ll talk about how not to go to jail forever if you try it!”

“That is not going to happen either.”

“And now here’s Claire!”