[Image Description: Tag reading “donatello/michelangelo”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Renaissance fanart

I’m gonna let you in on a secret.

  • That aint renaissance fanart

You know what, assholes? I run this blog for y’all every day. I see things you cannot begin to imagine. I have to read people’s Robespierre smut and their questions about how various monsters would fuck them. I am so jaded that, when someone submits a tag mentioning some random vaguely liquid substance without context, I just assume it’s being used as lube. Nutella? Lube. Crazy glue? Lube. Divine fucking ichor? Fucking lube! I do this for you, y’all. I shield you from this shit. I stand athwart the tides of horror, hold my hands up, and yell “STOP” in the hopes that it will keep the waters from reaching you.

So you know what, fuckheads!? If I want to maintain the one tiny scrap of innocence I have left, I will. The official policy of AO3TagoftheDay is now that turtles, teenage, mutant, ninja, or otherwise, do not fuck. It never happens. They don’t fuck. They don’t fuck each other. They don’t fuck humans. They don’t fuck in real life and they don’t fuck in fiction. This tag is about two gay Renaissance painters holding each other close and kissing chastely under the Sistine chapel ceiling.

There. Glad we got that sorted out. Please return to your regularly scheduled programming.

This was intense, but I applaud you