Aries: summon a couple hundred demons to be their servants and you’ll be off to a decent start
Taurus: only ancient Gregorian chants can excite Tauruses
Gemini: inappropriately timed references to shows that have been off the air for years
Cancer: two words: Yugioh Cards
Leo: speak only in Latin
Virgo: only direct appeals to the Ancient Gods of old will appease a Virgo
Libra: the whispers of the void are more than enough already
Scorpio: Send them back to the dimension from which they came
Sagittarius: I dunno, advanced trigonometry?
Capricorn: you can’t turn a Capricorn on. I’m sorry, that’s just how it works.
Aquarius: science
Pisces: slap them with a fish. trust me it works.
Well I do have a Gregorian chant only radio station saved into my internet radio…