swaglexander-the-great:

mjalti:

ppl will really be like “what’s my name in ur phone saved as” and it’s like. bold of u to presume you were saved at all, +1-938-274-5569

This reads like a Captain Holt burn

owlmylove:

owlmylove:

new years resolution: gonna start composing my diary entries like an 18th century bachelor

“april 5: today most wonderful & strange! surely one to remember always. picked some wildflowers….. effervescent”

keepingtimetimetime:

keepingtimetimetime:

thistletongue:

You don’t get to decide where people go when they die.

I do if I’m the one who’s burying them.

Wait hang on I think I misunderstood the post.

hellalogicalcaptain: