underoosstark:

irnsebastianstan:

peter p: but mr america sir, aren’t you technically only 33? are you sure you qualify for this?

steve, taking a senior citizen parking spot and claiming his 15th senior discount of the day: shut your mouth you’re like 5

broke – the team mocking steve for being ‘old’

woke – steve trying to get into a zoo for free because “fuck it i was born in 1918 I deserve the fucking seniors discount”

godscasket:

godscasket:

living in the countryside really strikes the fear of god into you at the most random moments. you’ll just make eye contact with a cow or stare for too long into a brook and all of a sudden you’ll think something like “these are old bones and i am merely a passing occupant” and then you have to go and put the kettle on to cope

me:

the hare staring at me from across the field: which one of your lives is this?

me, legging it: okay tea time i think